I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you. Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you. Isaiah 41:9-10 MSG
It’s a new season. Yes, we are in the early days of spring, and I couldn’t be happier about that. For my spirit as well as my physical body, it is a new season of recovery, restoration – a reset.
Ten days ago I underwent arthroscopic surgery on my right knee to remove a floating piece of bone that was causing my knee to lock unexpectedly and painfully sometimes many times a day. This had been playing havoc with my workout routine for almost two years. I went from running, doing cardio and cycling several times a week to seated work outs. Now, don’t discount a seated cardio workout to get the heart rate up – I am thankful for them. (Check out many great free seated workouts, as well as many standing workouts with my ‘fitness friend’ Pahla Bowers on YouTube or http://www.pahlabfitness.com. )
This injury, combined with a new office position which was much less active than my hospital job, was having an impact physically and emotionally and at the time of surgery I found myself a few pounds over my goal weight for the first time in four years.
This is hard for me to admit. I felt like I was letting down everyone I have been trying to encourage on their journey for wellness. I felt I had let myself down, as I promised myself I would not let myself get over my goal weight once I reached it.
I have started to recover from the surgery and feel strength slowly returning as I do my physiotherapist prescribed workouts including small amounts of time on my elliptical. There is still discomfort, but stability is returning and I am feeling more steady.
In having a week off from work, I had time to read the Word and get back into a favourite book, Lysa Terkheurst’s, Made to Crave. I was reminded again that this is not just a physical journey, but a spiritual one. I have not let God down. He holds me up and strengthens me. I have never had to hold Him up or earn His love and care.
This is my personal journey, spiritually and physically, and getting to my goal weight was not the end of the journey. There is so much more God has to teach me and many curves and course corrections in my life that I will navigate where I need to hit the reset button, as I am doing now, getting back to what I know works, and letting go of guilt and shame over some poor choices in how I have eaten, managed (or not managed) stress and neglected my self-care.
God says in Isaiah 41 that He has a firm grip on me. He has brought me to a time of recovery and restoration and I am not going to take this opportunity lightly.
So what’s going to change? I’ve been tracking my weight weekly, even this past Friday where I had been in bed for several days and still had swelling in my knee. No excuses, it is what it is. Time to get back to tracking all my food and water. Every.single.bite. My crazy schedule had me winging things a bit. I will be doing my allowed workouts as prescribed so that I do all I can to aid the healing and strengthening of my body.
And I am going to share this with you, my friends. To be accountable and to be transparent. I am a woman on a journey. I don’t know where you are in your journey. Maybe you’re taking first steps. Maybe you are resetting for the hundredth time. Maybe you have been at your goal weight and maybe you can’t imaging being there. I hope you will walk with me. I don’t have it all figured out, but I trust God who holds me steady. I have a program that works for me when I work it. I will keep walking and will get to where I want to be. I throw off guilt and shame – that is too heavy a weight to bear. I am ready for a reset for restoration – how about you?