Faith. It is said that faith is the currency of heaven. But have you ever felt penniless? I’ve been close on several occasions in life and while driving one day this week, God reminded me of a time when I took many late night drives to sing, to pray, to cry and to try to hear His voice. In my mind I heard again a song that helped me hold on to those last few coins of my heavenly currency.
“I Believe” by Barlow Girl is a powerful declaration of raw faith in dark times. Maybe you haven’t heard this treasure written around 2007. I believe it will touch your heart and stir your hope.
The chorus is based on words found written on a wall during the Holocaust. My pain pales compared to what that writer was experiencing. Words so full of agony, yet the hope peeks through like the first glimmer of sunrise. At the time I was newly separated and my life felt like a dark cave. Many reached out to me with love and kindness, but I still felt desperately alone. In those long nighttime drives, I learned that the words of this song were true in my life.
It’s only here that I find faith, and learn to trust the One who writes my days.
I sang into the dark night and then one day, the sun started shining again, and I could begin to see all that God was doing silently behind the scenes. Life changed, not for the better, but for the best. His best.
I have a wonderful husband and we are privileged to minister together and shepherd some amazing people. God is using me in ways that I don’t believe would have been possible without some time in the silent cave of despair, holding desperately to the last bit of my faith currency.
If you’re in that cave right now, my friend, know that even if God seems silent, He is at work building your future, setting up your healing and making your purpose and mission clear. Keep singing, keep believing, keep holding on until dawn breaks.
Seasons with Grace 
Thank you for those encouraging words. I can so relate to those. 30 years ago when my first husband and I separated I clung to the words of Peter, when many people stopped following Jesus, because they were only following for the miracles and not the teaching, he turned to his disciples are you gonna leave me too? Peters said where are we going to go you have the words of eternal life. I have found that in my darkest hours he gives me something to hang onto.
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