When I look at the night sky and see the work of Your fingers— the moon and the stars You set in place— what are mere mortals that You should think about them, human beings that You should care for them? Yet You made them only a little lower than God
and crowned them with glory and honor. You gave them charge of everything You made, putting all things under their authority— the flocks and the herds and all the wild animals, the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea, and everything that swims the ocean currents. O Lord, our Lord, Your majestic name fills the earth! Psalm 8:3-9 NLT
Sitting at my desk grading papers as my students worked away at the day’s assignment. The course was almost over and there was an underlying nervous excitement (well, with a class full of young women, it wasn’t always underlying!). Internship was coming, and then a whole new chapter as they started their new career.
I was ready for the break between courses. It had been a successful term, and I love what I teach, but my mind was reevaluating my purpose. God had been impressing on me for some time that a new chapter was coming. Writing, speaking, leading other women. More women. Just thinking about it was WAY out of my comfort zone. My own underlying thoughts were racing. How I could possibly make this all work? Work filled my days. My husband, my church, my home and family filled the rest. How could I study more? When could I write more?
But the real question was this – what on earth do I have to say that someone else isn’t already saying? I felt the passion, the fire in my bones to take on this new season, but underneath it all I was restless, feeling small and ordinary and unremarkable. How could something I say help anyone make lasting change in their life?
Pushing the thoughts aside and focusing back on my grading, I heard the printer whir and looked to see the screen light up as a single sheet of paper slid out onto the tray. A bit confused, as my hands were not on they keyboard, I stood up and went to the printer, fully expecting the paper to be meaningless. I could not have been more wrong.
There was one line on the paper. It read, “I BELIEVE IN YOU”.
I turned to my computer monitor, but no, I hadn’t typed that. I checked the multiple tabs I have open at any given moment. Nope. As I stood, I looked out over the classroom. All the students were either finishing their task, or conferring with a classmate. But it would be impossible, the student computers cannot even access the printer. The only one who maybe would have access was the IT guy in the back hallway. I know he thought I was a good instructor, but he was much too busy for goofing around or trying to prank me.
Class ended and I packed up, placing the printed page carefully in a folder to take home. I put it up on the bulletin board next to my desk. My thoughts kept going back to it.
I could rationalize this act with computer glitches and crossed wires, but there was nothing accidental about this. God was intentionally reassuring me in a way that would get through my easily distracted, over-thinking mind. He believes in me.
Slowly, the truth sank in. Of course! I was correct. I absolutely do not have a message that can guide anyone else to change. But God does. I don’t need to strive to come up with a niche and a platform and multitudes of followers. He has a message and He knows who needs me to share it with them. He believes in me, that I am up to the challenge, willing to have my plan interrupted. All I need to do is listen and follow. He will provide the words and opportunities.
I know my husband believes in me and that helps me to be confident when I am feeling inadequate. My mom and my kids believe in me too. I am blessed with an amazing support system of family and friends. Its a great feeling to have someone believe in you. But to know that GOD, the One who knows my every secret, my every failure and insecurity believes in me that I am capable with His help to fulfill His purpose in my life and encourage others is incredibly empowering.
Maybe you’re reading this feeling a bit empty, a bit weak because you don’t feel you have any support. My friend, you do. God believes in you every bit as much as He believes in me. He made you for a specific purpose, to accomplish something in this world through Him that no one else can do in just the way you can do it. And if God believes in you – I do too.
I still have no clue how this new season will unfold. I have a classroom of new eager young women, that I know already are going to succeed. My plate is still seems full with this life and all the people I love. But as a beloved daughter of the King, I will follow God’s leading, listening to His truth over the world’s distractions. When the time is right, the niche, the message and the platform will move into place. It is enough to know He believes in me.
Maybe it was for a moment like this that you came to be part of the royal family. Esther 4:14 CEB